Friday, February 18, 2011

Thoughts Detox Eval cont.

The next step in the evaluation process is to look at three thoughts that seem good and positive but if we believe them unconditionally they can create conflict and stress in our life.

The statements are:
  • I must do well
  • You must treat me well
  • The world must be easy
Although these seem like harmless thoughts in real life no one does well all the time, everyone is mistreated at times and life is not easy or fair.

So when we think "I must do well" it can generate feelings that are not good for you. Expecting unrealistic performance from yourself and others creates a negative effect on your mental and physical health. Notice I said "unrealistic" as I am not saying that we do not do our best or achieve many good things in life.

But if you base your thought life on these 3 statements it will create toxic thoughts and emotions.
So the next part of our evaluation is a realization that we need to let go of unrealistic thinking. Another word for this is "Expectations" We need to do all we can to improve and take care of ourselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually but we need to be realistic about what real life is and how people are and the world is.

Here is how toxic thoughts affect us:
  • Thoughts create your mood
  • When you experience a negative emotion you will feel depressed or anxious
  • A negative thought linked to emotional turmoil will be distorted
There are 4 simple techniques involved in this first step to controlling our thought life:
  1. Understanding how a thought forms. Everything starts with a thought.
  2. You have to consciously become aware of your thoughts - this will actually activate a "strainer" in your brain that will begin over time to "highlight" your thoughts. In other words, bring the thoughts to the forefront of the brain so you can quickly recognize them.
  3. Make a conscious decision to accept the thought (if it is good for you - produces good feelings, or creates action ) or reject the thought (if it is bad for you - creates toxic emotions and paralyzes you emotionally) For best results talk to yourself out loud.
  4. Deal with emotional strongholds. A stronghold is a belief that is strongly upheld - if you have some of the memories you have created toxic beliefs and emotions in you it becomes a stronghold in your brain and in your thought process. The way you combat this it to create positive, healthy thinking to replace those toxic thoughts and memories. Correct, positive thinking actually "grows" your brain and new connections.
Next post we will talk about how the words we speak work hand in hand with our thoughts


betty said...

I read this and didn't think I had obsorbed it. But today The first positive but negative thought kept popping into my head . 'I must do well.'And I found myself giving my self a lot more room because of it. And even other people. This is fairly unrealistic. to think we must allways do well. Not here on earth, anyway.:) This has helped me, Kathy. Thank you.

CoachK said...

I am so glad this is helpful, Bettsy. So much of this is awareness and then discipline. You are doing great. And don't feel alone, I have quite a few people calling me and emailing me that they are working on this too. You are just the brave on that puts a comment on the post!! :)