But in the midst of all these wonderful blessings there is an empty place in my heart today as my dad is no longer with us. He was and still is my hero. Not just because he was my dad but because of all the people I have ever known, my dad made a choice to change from a man who dealt with alot of anger and control issues in his younger years to the most gracious, kind, loving, caring and giving person in my and many others lives. He is a true example of how God can change a life and of how we as parents and Christians should always be moving toward our strengths and working with God's help on our weaknesses.
My dad knew his shortcomings and one of his main goals in life was to be a kind and good person. A person who could speak hope and encouragement into every ones life that came into his path. That was one of his main goals (his number one goal was to take care of "mommy" :)
and he accomplished both of those goals with perfection.
Dad, I miss you more that I can say, you always made me feel I could be and do anything. You listened to all my silly life stories and in fact seemed to enjoy hearing about all that was going on in my life. I remember the list of questions you would have written down when I came to visit every Friday. I remember the china cups on the table ready to be filled when I came in the door with your wonderful brewed coffee. I remember the wonderful "peace" that filled your home. The little chocolates beside the cups and possibly a quick song with "mommy" or a recited poem. I remember your love and care for my mom until the very end. I especially liked the "Florida Throat" song. :) We talked almost everyday and I can still hear the familiar voice on the phone saying with a sweet bit of laughter, "My Pal!, how are you doing partner?" Oh how I wish I could call and hear that voice one more time. I know one day I will but until then it is a bit hard on days like this. Thank you dad for all you taught me - I find myself being and thinking more and more like you everyday, enjoying the simple things in life and trying to be an encouragement to those around me. Oh, if I can only accomplish half of what you did in peoples live I will feel I have done well.
Well, I have to admit I have sat here at my computer writing this blog in tears. But I think they are good tears. It's been 4 years since my dad left us and I have grieved properly, but days like today - it is good to remember, to cry and to be thankful for those God has put in our lives.
I know I say this every mothers and fathers day but I don't think I can ever repeat it enough. If your dad is still alive - enjoy the moments, resolve the issues to the extent that you can and don't be so busy you regret when they are gone that you didn't spend more time, especially unhurried time. I know its hard as our parents get older - you have to be more patient and slow but I can promise you - you will never regret slowing down, talking more (even about seemingly unimportant things), sitting and having coffee more often - for those will be the moments you will hold on to when they are gone.
Happy Fathers Day!