Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Computers and Relationships

So you may be wondering what do computers have to do with relationships?  Is it because we spend so much time on them we neglect relationships?  Well, yes that is true but that is not what we are going to talk about today in this post

I am actually writing this post in reference to an illustration my hubby gave me.  I really hate the fact that he came up with this and not me.  It's really good......but he is good at thinking about stuff like this as he has a very detailed, analytical mind. 

Well, here is his illustration and I think if you are struggling with a relationship in your life especially one you really care about it may give you some hope.  

Relationships are like computers that over time, even the best of them, can get a little corrupted - too many programs being dumped in, not enough space left, sometimes a few viruses sneaking in without us knowing and after awhile the system just freezes.

In relationships the programs may be boundaries that have gotten blurred, the space problems could be busyness that has broken down communication and quality time spent together.  The viruses may be the little resentments, offenses that begin to accumulate over time that are never dealt with.

In these situations it is not obvious problems, but just like a computer after awhile they all begin to affect the functioning of the computer or the functioning of the relationship.  It really isn't any ones fault - it just is the natural progression of busy lives and people just being people, good people, people who love each other. 

Then the freeze happens.  The screen won't move, panic sets it.  What do we do?  Do we throw out the computer and get a new one?  Do we go to a repair shop and get advice on what to do next? Do we just ignore it and hope it starts to work on it's own????

Well, the best thing to try to do is to reboot the computer.  When we reboot sometimes the programs change slightly and work differently - sometimes a reboot will refresh programs.

In the same way, occasionally even the best of relationships need to be rebooted, to refresh and clean out any viruses, boundary problems or priority problems.  In many cases, a reboot can actually, over time, improve the functioning of a  relationship just as rebooting improves the functioning of a computer. 

That part is up to us and how we choice to react, forgive, let go and reengage into the relationship.   The end result can be better, healthier boundaries, letting go of past offenses and resetting of our priorities.   The end result can be a relationship that is even better and more enjoyable than before the corruption came in.  

Although his "Sanguine" wife embellished this a little I think my "Melancholy" hubby did a great job of coming up with this illustration.

Romans 12:18 (The Message)

 Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." 


CoachK said...

That picture looks so much like Johnny when he was little!

Meems said...

Hey Coach,
A really good post! I like the way that hubby of yours thinks. LOL... and the way you embellish of course. I can SO relate to this post. In SO many ways. Definitely some corrupt programs in a few of my (lifelong)relationships... and on occasion the whole system freezes.

Unfortunately, my personality shuts down for a while without rebooting. I'm not saying it's a good thing. I am saying it is easier sometimes than trying to reboot and figure out how to fix it. It's not even that I'm angry or want to get even... I just shut down and go on about my business.
Meems @ Hoe and Shovel

CoachK said...

Thanks Meems, I told hubby that a fellow melancholy liked his idea. :) I had a fun time adding my embellishments to it but like you could so relate. The hopeful part is that eventually we need and want to use our computer again so at some point we usually will reboot - it just takes awhile sometimes. Any thoughts on that herb garden???? :)