Thursday, August 27, 2009

Birth Order and Your Personality - The First Born

Your birth order affects your personality and nearly every aspect of your life, but it is not an absolute, indelible mark. It is only one of many factors in personality development. And no one birth order is better than another, however, it can be reversed or turned around by illness, early death or the mental incapacity of a sibling.

If you are the First will often be a high achiever and very conscientious. First borns are reliable and loyal. Kevin Leman says first borns are natural leaders as this often comes from a sense of entitlement and superiority. They pay attention to detail and are organized. They can be moody and insensitive to others feelings and are also bad at delegating, because they don't trust others as much as they trust themselves. That's why they are often stressed out. They must be in control but this leads to stress.

Why? The parents! They were the first baby and while there is a lot of excitement and anticipation on the parents part there is also a lot of pressure and demand from them to be the best. First borns often have to grow up fast and become, "little adults" before they are ready.

This can result in two basic types: compliant and wanting to please or strong willed and aggressive. (it's possible to have traits of both.)

Parents are much tougher on their first-born children than those that follow
First-born siblings have long complained that their parents allow their younger brothers and sisters to get away with murder.
While they are forced to toe the line, they claim their mothers and fathers are far less strict with their naughty siblings.
Now research has confirmed their suspicions that parents punish older children more harshly. The study shows first-born children often recognise their parents are likely to be tougher on their transgressions and are generally deterred from being rebellious.

Here are a few tips for coping with your first born status:
  • Relax - you probably have a hard time relaxing and may even be a workaholic
  • Learn to say no - don't try to do everything and be everything to everyone
  • Don't aim for perfection - you may set very high standards for yourself and others
  • Develop a sense of humor - don't take life so seriously and learn to enjoy the moment.
To learn more about first born traits, go to:

Next Post: The middle child


Snow said...

I am a first-born! :) My parents actually were not particularly strict with me, but I am still a pretty typical first-born child. :) I also learned quite a bit from reading Kevin Leman's The First Born Advantage last year!

CoachK said...

I think birth order is so interesting and I have found it to be very accurate. I can't wait to get to the "baby" of that family - that's me!