If you have a root of rejection in your life you may walk into a room and if someone does not notice you you may assume that all the people in the room don't like you. You feel rejection simply because you weren't given attention but reality is the people in the room just did not notice that you had joined them.
How many times do we suffer unbearably because someone doesn't give us what we think they should give us and in reality they didn't know what we were in need of.
Perception is how you see things, not necessarily reality:
- Rejection based people perceive things as rejection that are not.
- Rejection based people can not be confronted.
People with a root of rejection also have a hard time being confronted. This is because they can not separate their opinions and ideas from the real person they are. When someone disagrees with their opinion they feel they are being rejected as a person. People can disagree with your opinions and still love and respect you as a person.
So what do we do with these perceptions?
- When begin to feel rejected, check you perceptions - are they real or perceived.
- Begin to see yourself as God sees you. In His eyes you are valuable, special, and have purpose. Psalm 139: 1-18
- Don't ever let how other people treat you or have treated you determine your worth. You have worth and value.
- One of the first steps to any kind of healing is to forgive those who have truly rejected you.
Next Post: Walls of Protection We Build.
4 comments:
"People with a root of rejection also have a hard time being confronted. This is because they can not separate their opinions and ideas from the real person they are. When someone disagrees with their opinion they feel they are being rejected as a person. People can disagree with your opinions and still love and respect you as a person. "
Wow...this is me! I have gotten way better than when I was younger. I have learned to love people anyway but it still stings when someone has a differing opinion or confronts me about something. (how silly)
I still feel uncomfortable within groups of new people (to the point of making myself physically ill) I never pinpointed it to rejection issues...but it looks like it is.
Do you think that we outgrow some of our rejection issues or is it that some of the issues are worked out with the help of people around us(whether they know they are helping or not)?...My Paul is wonderful at showing me unconditional love and my mom thinks that I hung the moon. I think it helps me with my rejection issues when I realize that it really doesn't matter if people accept me or not, because I am accepted by other wonderful people.
One more thing: I find that there are a lot of qualities about me that I can't stand. So I kinda am rejecting myself until I am as perfect as I feel other people are. (again, completely ridiculous)
Does that make sense?? Sorry my comment is so long. I will shorten next time.
WHAT?!! Are you saying you didn't hang the moon?!!! (hEEHEEHEE!)
Chayil, Please don't shorten your comments - I love hearing the whole thought.
I think we have at least three ways we move past our rejection issues. One, is as you stated, having people in your life that help you grow a new root, a root of love and acceptance, they help you to see how much value and worth you have, Two, is really understanding how Christ sees us, what the Word says about us and using scripture to combat those thoughts that the enemy likes to throw at us because he knows we are vunerable in that area. And Three I do believe we sometime have to go back to where the rejection came from and go through a process of letting go and forgiveness.
I have also struggled in all the areas you mentioned through my life - especially the confrontation part. Even as I did this series I was finding more areas I need to work on. I do know a lot of it comes from past rejection but I do think certain personalities struggle more than others. Very people oriented personalities put more value in being accepted by people than other more task oriented personalities.
Ok, see I think my reply is as long as your comment. :)
In about 2 more posts I'll be taking about Perfectionism and Rejection - it is all tied together.
Thanks again, Chayil for the great comments!
Bettsy, You are a GREAT mom! Every child (adult or little) needs to know their mom thinks they hung the moon. :)
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