Thursday, July 2, 2009

Heathy Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is defined as confidence in ones own worth or abilities, self-respect.  

One of the most destructive forces I see in most of my clients lives is a lack of confidence.  I am not talking about humility here - I am talking about not seeing themselves as God sees them. Seeing themselves through the negative messages that people or life situations have given them since childhood.

As I always explain to my clients - we have to sometimes look back to what caused our low self-esteem to understand it - this is not to blame but to understand.  If anyone in your life has put negative messages in your life, realize it is probably because of their own insecurities and their own lack of worth.  So we need to forgive but also understand.

Our Self Esteem or lack of comes from many sources: family, spouses, work, school, society and a list of others.  It comes from within us - how we see ourselves and it is influenced by Satan as he lies, accuses us and blinds us to the truth. 

How do you increase your sense of self-esteem and self-acceptance:
  1. Increase the number of positive thoughts you say to yourself and others  (use scripture)
  2. Identify you strengths, accept that God has given them to you
  3. Focus on small successes and positive experiences
  4. Decrease the number of negative things we say about ourselves and others 
  5. Practice giving genuine compliments to others.
  6. Develop an appreciation of your own worth. 
  7. Do not compare yourself to others, you are unique and special.
  8. Develop a more realistic view of the world and our place in it. 
  9. Accept that we are not responsible for the emotional responses of others and they are not responsible for our emotional responses.  We can choose how we respond.
  10. Accept your weaknesses and mistakes. (everyone makes mistakes)
  11. Accept others weaknesses and mistakes (forgive, forgive, forgive)
  12. Limit the number of commitments you make
  13. Spend daily time in the bible - write down verses that have to do with who you are in Christ on an index card and remind yourself often. 
Start a journal today documenting all the positive things said to you and positive events happening in your life - you will find there are many more than you realize. 

Next Post: The root of rejection

1 comment:

Everything Counts said...

Very inspirational and thought provoking. We should first be aware of our inner selves. Only then we can build up on our strengths. I quite appreciate the thought and agree with it.