The first of the "Love Busters" we will talk about is "Angry Outbursts" and how this can undermine a marriage or other relationships in our life. I will be applying this more to a marriage situation but the same principals are true of any relationship that is affected but this buster.
Why do people destroy relationships and couples destroy the love they have for each other with angry outbursts? In most cases, the problem begins with the false assumption that the other person should do this or that for them and when they don't do it they should be forced. Control is ultimately behind every angry outburst.
An angry outburst is usually an effort to teach a lesson - one person feels hurt and angrily tries to show the other how that feels. Most people who are perpetrators of angry outbursts don't see their anger as a serious problem. They see the real problems as being the other person behavior that triggered their anger. "If they would stop doing.......I wouldn't get to angry"
So basically people who have angry outbursts feel the other person made them do it.
Of course, there are no excuses for abusive behavior and that is what an angry outburst is, especially when, and it usually does, demean and hurts another person. We can feel angry, the bible tells us we will feel angry, but it also said not to sin with it. So we can have the feeling but it's what we do with the feeling that determines if we sin or not.
Most people who have a problem with angry outbursts do not think they have a problem. Anger is deceitful; it lets you forget what really happened and distorts the truth. It can almost be a form of temporary insanity. It is usually always blamed on someone else's behavior. Somebody MADE me angry.
As we say over and over again on this blog we can only change ourselves so how do we stop the angry outbursts if we are the ones with the problem and what advice can we give to someone who is asking for help in this area?
Next post we will go over a six step plan to help overcome angry outbursts.
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, Ephesians 4:26