Monday, November 23, 2009

Day 23 - of 30 Days of Happiness

Day 23 - Compliment or Affirm someone today

Affirm - to state or assert positively; maintain as true:
Compliment - an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration

The person I affirmed and complimented today was my hubby, John. No, this was not just an easy way to fulfill my challenge but a much needed and deserved affirmation. I will try not to bore you with the details.....but we had remodeled our kitchen after 18years about 6 mths ago. I love the remodel but there was one little problem. There is a old sliding glass door that goes form my kitchen to the outside. Now that I had a new kitchen the door was sticking out like a sore thumb. So we have been negotiating our next step and finally decided to put a door where the sliding glass door is. As we have been nearing the Thanksgiving holiday which I host at my home I have been 'badgering" yes...badgering my poor hubby to get the door done. Well, about 3 weeks ago he got it - and I'm thinking you just put the door in in a few hours and your done. Wellll.....number one I never really realize the extent of work in these types of projects. Number 2 my hubby is a perfectionist I need to say more. Anyway, he has labored over this door for days and weekends. Has been working on it every spare moment between work and moving our son into his new home and wedding plans and Thanksgiving plans and me reminding him it needs to be complete by Thanksgiving...poor really need to pray for him.....well, tonight it is complete and as always he did an amazing job. His perfectionism drives me crazy until he finishes a project like this then I love that quality.

So all that to say I affirmed and complimented him and his workmanship over and over and over again and meant every bit of it!

I also had a few people e-mail me and call me today and affirm me! Not sure if it was because of the blog but it was especially needed today in the mist of all I have going on - so to those of you who blessed my day - THANK YOU!

Another thot about affirmations is that affirmations are not always just verbal, the Five Love Languages, is a great resource for learning some new strategies for affirming others. It talks about physical touch, time and attention, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service as other ways to affirm others.

If we observe people closely we can learn the favorite love languages of the special people in our life, and make a point to include loving acts and words in daily interactions with them. In the times we live we can all use a little extra affirmation.

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the path of life: in Your presence is fullness of Joy: at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Tomorrow - Tell 3 friends how important they are to you (you can do this through e-mail,a card, or phone)


Juliette said...

Like you, Kathy, I chose my husband, and not because it was the first and easiest thing to do. As we were continuing the work on the pavers in the yard, the saw burned up. Bill had only one stone left to size and he is a perfectionist so it had to be perfect and there was no way to do it without a concrete/ceramic blade on a wet saw. Being the electrical engineer he took the saw apart to see why it smoked and what could be done. Now after near 37 years of marriage I KNOW what he is exceptional at and that is anything electrical or mechanical. It is a given.

So when I complimented him on this skill and my confidence in his ability to fix anything, he shrugged it off and said he could fix things many times. I stopped him and said, “no, you fix things most of the time and I know that you will this time too.” When I got back from an errand, he had managed to make it work for one more cut before it was useless again. Again I affirmed his skill.

What this made me think about was how different I felt when trying to pay attention to something that was genuine, a true fact, as opposed to just trying to encourage. I think the assurance that comes out in my voice has a great impact than when I am just sweet. And it could depend on the person receiving the compliment or affirmation.

Another thought about the difference between the two words, an affirmation is also a confirmation of a fact, hence details are given with less emotional response. They are delivered with confidence and assurance, while a compliment can be given with greater emotional voice quality. I compliment is given to truly make the person feel better while an affirmation can be viewed as a statement of excellence. Pondering going on here …………..

1. diabebaioomai (‎diabebaio/omai‎, NT:1226), dia, "intensive," and bebaioo, "to confirm, make sure," denotes "to assert strongly," "affirm confidently," 1 Tim 1:7; Titus 3:8 (KJV, "affirm constantly).
2. diischurizomai (‎diisxuri/zomai‎, NT:1340), as in No. 1, and ischurizosai, "to corroborate" (ischuros "strong"; see ABILITY, A, No. 2 and C, No. 2, Note, primarily signifies "to lean upon," hence, "to affirm stoutly, assert vehemently," Luke 22:59; Acts 12:15.
3. phasko (‎fa/skw‎, NT:5335), a frequentative form of the verb phemi (No. 4), denotes "to allege, to affirm by way of alleging or professing," Acts 24:9 (RV, "affirming," KJV, "saying"); 25:19; 1:22, "professing." Some mss. have it in Rev 2:2, instead of the verb lego, "to say." See PROFESS, SAY.
4. phemi (‎fhmi/‎, NT:5346), "to say" (primarily by way of enlightening, explaining), is rendered "affirm" in Rom 3:8. See SAY.

(from Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, Copyright © 1985, Thomas Nelson Publishers.)

CoachK said...

Bill like John is a great guy. WE are blessed! I liked your thoughts about affirmation vs compliments. It's so true that one is more of an emotional response whereas the other is a stated fact.