One Habit that can really help improve a marriage or any relationship for that matter is what Les and Leslie Parrott calls the "Habit of Happiness"
This is something you can do on your own and it becomes contagious. The 'Habit of Happiness" is the ability or capacity to adjust to things beyond your control, things that you wouldn't have wanted or planned a certain way.
This simple concept can totally change the tone of a relationship.
Here is an example of what this looks like:
Let's say the wife was expecting her husband to take her to a particular restaurant that she loves but when they got there it was full because he didn't or couldn't make reservations, so they had to go somewhere else.
If the wife is practicing the 'Habit of Happiness" then although she would feel disappointed and maybe even a little angry at her husband she would choose to reverse her thinking and decide to enjoy the evening even though it was not just as she had hoped.
We all deal with many disappointments on a regular basis in life - from little ones to big ones but it is always our choice how we react to them.
"Happy couples and happy people in general decide to be happy... they make happiness a habit... in spite of the troubles life deals them."
The mind is behind all of this. The mind is like a computer processor and it needs to be programmed for success. And we can program it to default to positive thinking or negative thinking; it's our choice.
It is amazing how differently our circumstances can be interpreted--positively at one extreme and negatively at the other. "Happiness," it is said, "does not hinge on better circumstances Negative people tend to focus on reality, whereas positive people tend to focus on the possibilities. Positive, happy people are forward-thinkers.
We must ask ourselves the question: "How do I interpret my circumstances?" Positively or negatively? It's our choice.
Marriages work best when there is a "no fault, no blame" attitude underpinning both partners' approach to each other. "No one can make another person unhappy. We can only make ourselves unhappy. Again, it's our personal choice.